Last week I accepted the invitation to speak for 40 students from two professional courses, in a school near Porto. The theme, I thought, was interesting enough to make them participate: “How to question the obvious when building your future career”.
But, as students between 15 and 19 years old, most of them represented the typical teenager profile: not talking too much (or not speaking at all!) or talking too much (not necessarily about the theme we’re supposed to talk about). It seemed a big challenge for the session!
I thought that the fact that I had arrived in the room with a toddler on my lap would unlock their questions and curiosity but besides the “oh, how cute!” comments, nothing special happened.
I then started presenting myself and a bit of my path, focusing on the most unconventional aspects of it and then opened the space for questions. Any questions. All the questions. From whoever.
Nothing. Then, a few students raised their hands and tried. Questions were a bit disconnected from the theme and the flow of curiosity was simply not flowing at all. I asked them what was happening. Why weren’t they curious? Why weren’t they taking the most from the possibility of having a 100% available adult for them for two hours, ready to answer any questions they might have.
It was then that I realized: students are simply not used to use their curiosity. They are not used to learn based on their will to learn, to develop themes, to go deep on their specific interests. Rather, they seem to be programmed to hear in a passive, (hopefully) patient way, then memorise enough time to write everything in a test and then…Forget everything again. It was like that with me, when I was their age and it seemed to be still happening with these youngsters.
So I got in tune with my teenage times and just suggested them to swap places in the room. “Just stand up and swap seats! Try something new. Dare. Dare to sit in places you’d never sit, otherwise. Let’s start questioning even more obvious things: Why do we sit where we usually do?”
But, as students between 15 and 19 years old, most of them represented the typical teenager profile: not talking too much (or not speaking at all!) or talking too much (not necessarily about the theme we’re supposed to talk about). It seemed a big challenge for the session!
I thought that the fact that I had arrived in the room with a toddler on my lap would unlock their questions and curiosity but besides the “oh, how cute!” comments, nothing special happened.
I then started presenting myself and a bit of my path, focusing on the most unconventional aspects of it and then opened the space for questions. Any questions. All the questions. From whoever.
Nothing. Then, a few students raised their hands and tried. Questions were a bit disconnected from the theme and the flow of curiosity was simply not flowing at all. I asked them what was happening. Why weren’t they curious? Why weren’t they taking the most from the possibility of having a 100% available adult for them for two hours, ready to answer any questions they might have.
It was then that I realized: students are simply not used to use their curiosity. They are not used to learn based on their will to learn, to develop themes, to go deep on their specific interests. Rather, they seem to be programmed to hear in a passive, (hopefully) patient way, then memorise enough time to write everything in a test and then…Forget everything again. It was like that with me, when I was their age and it seemed to be still happening with these youngsters.
So I got in tune with my teenage times and just suggested them to swap places in the room. “Just stand up and swap seats! Try something new. Dare. Dare to sit in places you’d never sit, otherwise. Let’s start questioning even more obvious things: Why do we sit where we usually do?”
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That seemed to be the perfect trigger: moving the body made them interact, laugh, create physical and psychological movement.
Once re-sitted I mingled between them, I moved around and I looked directly into their eyes. I truly invited them to start and I told them about my eagerness to share and how available I truly was.
That was it. A question came: “Why did you create your business?” and then the other “How was it to be alone at the begining?” or “Where would you like to live, if you could chose any country?”. To each student making a question I replied to the all room, as if the question had come from all of them. I was telling them stories, telling my “bad points”, laughing about myself with them. I showed my vulnerable side, invited them to think with me about alternatives for some situations that would have avoided some mistakes I made. Smiles started appearing and comments started flowing.
The more information they had, the more they were wiling to have and the more questions they were allowing to arrive.
It was then that the interesting part kicked off: they started making questions I wasn’t expecting at all. Things such as “What changed in your career by being a “late-mother” (late as in old, I guessJ)?” or “What will be the values that you want to teach your baby?”
Once re-sitted I mingled between them, I moved around and I looked directly into their eyes. I truly invited them to start and I told them about my eagerness to share and how available I truly was.
That was it. A question came: “Why did you create your business?” and then the other “How was it to be alone at the begining?” or “Where would you like to live, if you could chose any country?”. To each student making a question I replied to the all room, as if the question had come from all of them. I was telling them stories, telling my “bad points”, laughing about myself with them. I showed my vulnerable side, invited them to think with me about alternatives for some situations that would have avoided some mistakes I made. Smiles started appearing and comments started flowing.
The more information they had, the more they were wiling to have and the more questions they were allowing to arrive.
It was then that the interesting part kicked off: they started making questions I wasn’t expecting at all. Things such as “What changed in your career by being a “late-mother” (late as in old, I guessJ)?” or “What will be the values that you want to teach your baby?”
Then, instead of just replying, I was integrating them in my reflections: “Well, I’ve already told you some things about myself and you saw how I behave and how I present myself, so what are your guesses about it?” Immediately powerful words started flying around the room: “creativity!”, “adventure”, “love for the others”, “kindness”, “craziness”, “professional”, “responsible” and similar ones. They were allowing their fasr judgements about someone they had just met to arise and be used in a constructive way. And they were really good on that, I really saw myself portrayed on their words!
It was then that I realise these youngster weren’t at all numbed or sleepy. They had an amazing spark inside, ready to jump at the right stimula. Their questions and comments were confirming their abilities to observe, analyse, take fast conclusions, and dare. They were just waiting for an interesting theme for them, for a good listener and for an interactive way to participate.
It was then that I realise these youngster weren’t at all numbed or sleepy. They had an amazing spark inside, ready to jump at the right stimula. Their questions and comments were confirming their abilities to observe, analyse, take fast conclusions, and dare. They were just waiting for an interesting theme for them, for a good listener and for an interactive way to participate.
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At the end of the session the energy in the room had raised up and it was amazing. They seemed to have forgotten the break time that they were just launching questions and comments, one after the other. Even the way they were sited on the (uncomfortable) amphitheatre chairs was different.
When we closed the session smiles were all over the place. When leaving the room I went to the door and said bye to each of them, wishing them luck or making a small joke, making them count and showing my gratitude.
Those two amazing hours had started in a difficult way but definitely ended with the most natural flow between people who co-create the kind of knowledge that really matters: curiosity coming from inside, leading to material that sticks in their core.
When we closed the session smiles were all over the place. When leaving the room I went to the door and said bye to each of them, wishing them luck or making a small joke, making them count and showing my gratitude.
Those two amazing hours had started in a difficult way but definitely ended with the most natural flow between people who co-create the kind of knowledge that really matters: curiosity coming from inside, leading to material that sticks in their core.
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